Thousands of non-job holders to face non-redundancy
A top employment lawyer claims to have identified a flaw in the Coalition’s campaign to reduce the number of people in ‘crazy non-jobs’. ‘The legislation as currently framed deals only with employees,...
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Unemployment figures slashed as government deems motherhood a full-time job
In the latest bid to tackle soaring unemployment figures, the government has today announced the reclassification of motherhood as full-time employment. ‘It is high time the dedicated, tireless and...
View ArticleWoman said to have done the same job for sixty years never actually had a job
Claims that a Windsor woman has done the same job for sixty years have been challenged on the grounds that she has never had a job. Employment lawyer Adam Simons said that shaking hands with people...
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Study finds animals still being discriminated against in the workplace
A study undertaken by the Department for Work and Pensions has found that a disproportionate number of animals in the UK are still being confined to the most menial of jobs, and are repeatedly passed...
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Government now fears ‘extraterrestrial benefit spongers’
The prospect of thousands of little green men signing on for JobSeeker’s Allowance at Jobcentres across the UK is forcing government ministers to tighten the rules for accessing welfare benefits. The...
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Millions of Romanians, Bulgarians preparing to ‘avoid UK like the plague’
Fears of a huge influx of immigrants from Romania and Bulgaria have given way to indignation after a poll showed workers from the two countries are preparing to ‘avoid Britain like the plague’, when...
View ArticleRejected postman lacked ‘professional walking experience’
Royal Mail yesterday denied discrimination after turning down a student for the role of holiday cover postman due to his lack of ‘professional walking experience’. Mark Pye, studying for an MSc, was...
View ArticleRees-Mogg to tackle unemployment among seven-year-olds
Having landed the handy number of Leader of the House, and therefore with very little else to do to get his day in but ponce about Westminster and scare small children, the sepulchral Jacob Rees-Mogg...
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